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Do you feel like you’re not getting your sexual needs met? Are you finding it more difficult to get in the mood for sex?
If so, you may be sexually frustrated. Sexual frustration pertains to feelings of frustration, irritation, and stress due to unfulfilled sexual desires.
Contrary to popular opinion, sexual frustration isn’t merely irritability due to a lack of sex.
Sexual frustration may also occur in couples who do have sex often, but feel unfulfillment instead of satisfaction afterward.
Let’s learn more about sexual frustration and how you can manage this feeling.
What is Sexual Frustration?
Sexual frustration refers to the feeling of someone’s sexual needs being unmet. While it’s not tied to any specific official medical diagnosis, many people use it to describe a feeling of emptiness or dissatisfaction during or at the thought of sex.
Compared to normal and healthy sexual attitudes, sexual frustration can manifest in various maladaptive ways. These include:
- Depression
- Anxiety
- Anger
- Agitation
- Recklessness
Regardless of your sexual orientation, gender, ethnicity, or relationship status, sexual frustration can emerge in the same way. It’s a natural and normal response in adults.
Causes of Sexual Frustration
Sexual frustration stems from a variety of factors.
A fight with a partner, for example, can spill over into the bedroom and cause sexual frustration. Low libido can sometimes throw off the pre-established dynamic of the bedroom, resulting in misaligned sex desires that may need to be overcome.
Other causes of sexual frustration may include the following:
- Internalized stigma
- Lack of physical intimacy
- Stress and burnout
- Trauma from a past sexual partner
- Relationship problems
In most cases, sexual frustration isn’t the primary condition that needs to be addressed. People who feel sexually frustrated may be dealing with negative events—either internal or external—in their lives that are severely affecting their views and desire for sex.
If you’re experiencing sexual frustration, know that it is possible to regain feelings of sexual satisfaction. Talk with a doctor to schedule a treatment plan.
Is Sexual Frustration and Horniness the Same?
Not quite, but they do share some similarities. People who feel horny but don’t get their needs met can easily experience bouts of sexual frustration.
On the other hand, people who are horny aren’t always sexually frustrated if they have an avenue to get their sexual needs met.
Signs of Sexual Frustration
Depending on who you talk to, sexual frustration can take on a variety of forms.
Here are some of the signs that you or someone you know is sexually frustrated:
- Constantly arguing with your partner
- Increased consumption of pornography
- Binge eating or drinking
- Escalating arguments into fights
- Being increasingly touchy for connection
- Viewing your partner negatively
- Lack of libido and interest in your partner
- No orgasm or low-intensity orgasms
- A feeling of shame associated with sexual attitudes
These are just a few common symptoms of someone who’s sexually frustrated. If you want to know if your partner is sexually unsatisfied, simply ask!
Allowing your partner to express their feelings about the state of the bedroom can increase feelings of closeness and intimacy. It could, in certain situations, rekindle the flame.
If you’re the one who’s sexually frustrated, know that you’re not alone in your struggle. There are a few things you may do to deal with it, which we’ll get into detail below.
Ways To Deal with Sexual Frustration
If you experience sexual frustration, you’re probably well aware of how stressful it is. But with a bit of effort, it can be overcome.
Here are effective ways to deal with sexual frustration.
Do Cardio
Going for a run can help to clear your head and release some of that frustration healthily. Your body releases endorphins while you run, which can help to improve your mood and release the pent-up energy (or blue balls, as they say) caused by unmet sexual needs.
Connect Physically Without Sex
You don’t have to initiate sex to deal with sexual frustration. Other ways you can practice touch include:
- Hugging your partner
- Caressing their face affectionately
- Holding hands
Touch is scientifically proven to boost social support, making both parties feel good and connected with the other person.
Identify the Root Cause of Sexual Tension
Identifying the cause of tension between you and your partner is crucial to help you address the issue.
Is it due to internal health conditions like erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation, or loss of libido? Is it due to an internal sense of sexual shame or guilt? Or is it something that’s hinged on external events, like stress from work?
Work out what’s actually causing your lack of sexual desire. This way, you’ll be able to move forward with a sex therapist appropriately.
Talk to a Trained Therapist
Therapists are trained to deal with problems in a relationship—including sexual ones.
If you feel that you can’t overcome your sexual frustration alone, or that it’s affecting your life drastically, a mental health counselor or sex therapist can help give you guidance on how to move forward.
Try Solo Sex
If you want to release sexual energy, consider engaging in solo sex instead. You can do this by masturbating or using sex toys.
Sexual frustration is often temporary, so a quick release can help curb the immediate desire for sex. It may also lead to a better sexual connection in the future.
Communicate with your Partner
One of the most important things you can do to strengthen your relationship is to have healthy and open communication with your partner.
If you feel that you are not getting the love and attention that you need from your partner, talk to them about it. Express your feelings and ask them for what you need. It doesn’t have to be sexual in nature—even just a shoulder to cry on would do.
This can help resolve the issue and make both of you feel connected with them emotionally.
Suspicious of your partner? Here are the signs of infidelity.
Consult a Men’s Clinic for Medical Guidance for Sexual Frustration and Dysfunction
Feeling sexually frustrated can take a toll on anyone, both physically and emotionally.
With over a quarter of men aged 55 and above facing sexual dysfunction disorders, this struggle is a global phenomenon.
But with the right approach and proper guidance from medical professionals, it’s possible to overcome it.
Need a bit of help improving your sex life? Contact a doctor at Priority Men’s Medical Center to schedule a treatment plan. Our concierge approach positions your unique case at the centerpoint of our focus. We don’t just give you a pill for ED and send you on your way. We treat the underlying issues that led to conditions such as Erectile Dysfunction, Low Testosterone, and more. Contact our office today to schedule an appointment.
